Sunday, January 16, 2005

Spirit Walking...?

My apologies for the delay in posting, I was unaware that I would be in so remote a location as to lack even cellular service for my new laptop computer.

However, I am now back at our current base camp, and things are much more tech-friendly here.

I am serving with a task force in a remote Western state location. I cannot yet reveal the details of this mission as it still ongoing, and any premature disclosures could bring unwanted attention to our current anti-terrorist activities.

I have however met some remarkable people here. One of the most remarkable is John Red Bear(as usual his name is changed here to protect his identity), a medicine man among his poeple and a very talented scout. When we first met, he was one of the first people to not visibly flinch when he saw my face in the daylight. After the team briefings, but before we left on our assigments, he approached me and asked for a moment of my time. I gladly agreed to speak with him. Once we were alone, he was very blunt.

"Your body and your spirit are no longer one."

I was taken aback for a second, "Yeah, I suppose that would be a good way to describe me right now."

"This body you use, no longer functions well, why do you stay?"

"Hey buddy, this is what I have to work with, what other options do I have?"

He looked at me with deadly serious eyes that seemed to pierce through my body worse than any bullets, "You could leave this clumsy shell and walk free among the spirits. You should be free to roam the lands of the three worlds."

"Look, I don't know anything about your religion, your beliefs, or even what was really done to me to keep my 'spirit' around after I died. Shit, I didn't even belive I had a spirit until they woke me up."

He smiled. "It is not my religion that tells me of the three worlds and roaming of spirits, but my experiences. If you want, I can show you how to free yourself from the shackles of this shell and teach you to walk as free spirits are supposed to."

"I don't know man, this 'shell' is all I got, and I'm not sure I want to leave it anytime soon, I doubt the Pearly Gates would open up wide for my heathen ass."

He shifted his balance and looked me up and down, "Where you would travel is up to you, but I can also show you how to come back to this body and I think I can show you how to be in better control of yourself when you are there."

"Really? You can show me how to set me spirit loose form this body, and to return to it with better control than I have now? How can you be so sure?"

"I can see your spirit even now, and I can see how ill at ease it is within this shell. I can also see that if you do not free yourself from this prison, at least some of the time, your spirit will wither and die, and what remains will be truly dead. I would not see you, or any other spirit, suffer this fate."

I took this in, and felt the truth of his words in the hollowness of my existence since I had been brought back. "What is it like to walk as a spirit, have you done it?"

"I have walked many of the trails of the three worlds since I was a youth. Yes, you can feel things in ways that are beyond my command of your language to describe. Our time now is short, but I will come to you again when there is time to start teaching you what you will need to know."

With those words, he turned and left to rejoin the team that he had been assigned to. My mind was reeling from the conversation that we had just had. It is weird enough to be walking around in the body of an unfeeling robot, but think about being free to walk around as a spirit, or as a ghost!?

My ex, Katherine, was really big into spirits and tarot cards, and all of that New Age crap as I called it. She would probably understand what the heck this guy was talking about, but I had done my best to avoid reading any of the books or the magazines she always left laying around. She was always searching, she said, for her true path. I don't think she ever found it while we were living together, but she sure read alot and experimented with things. Maybe I should get back in touch with her and borrow some of those books. I can just imagine that phone call now, "Hi dear, this is your dead ex-husband, do you still have that book on Native American Shamanism laying around? Yeah, I could sort of use it now..." No I don't think that would go too good. I'd hate to freak her out. I think she has probably suffered enough because of me, although she might have been pleased that I never took her off of the life insurance policies that I had...I did do one thing right, and made sure that Drake made sure she got her settlements from my death.

I am hoping to get together with him again before we head out on the next mission. I don't know how long it will take for him to teach me this stuff, but I am beginning to consider that it might be worth a try.

More reports to follow as time and the mission allow.