Leaping Forward

The astute reader will of course figure out that I could not possibly remain chained to a rock in a distant dimension and still continue to make entries into this blog. As I am well aware just how astute many of my readers are, I will not belabor certain points any further. But I guess I should provide a little insight as to what happened and how I came to be free again, so here we go....

In the beginning, my time with Zulu, Merlin, and most importantly myself, was spent with a heart that was filled with fear, hate, and anger. Those emotions were of course initially directed to my captors, but were also directed inwards as well.

I was left chained to that rock for what seemed like an eternity. The visits from my captors were few and far between, leaving me with a lot of time to reflect on what, and even more importantly, who, I was now. Every time I did receive a visit from Merlin or Zulu, it seemed as if they came merely to taunt me for not having found the supposed ‘key’ that lay within.

Looking back, of course, I can now see that they were not in fact torturing me (at least not intentionally), but were trying instead to prod my rather reluctant psyche in a direction that would help me to find that key and allow me to free myself from the chains that bound me.

However, at that time, I was so wrapped up in the conflicts between Light and Shadow, Self and Other, Life and Death, and Love and Hate, that I didn’t recognize their attempts to move me towards the Healing that I so desperately needed.

Time in that place flows differently than it does in this world. So, while I spent what must have been many weeks bound to that damnable rock and then several more weeks in study and meditation with Merlin, totalling several months in all in that world, the time that actually elapsed here was a matter of days and comprises one of my prior periods of silence on this blog.

My time with Merlin, and to a much lesser extent with Zulu, is almost beyond my ability to describe in mere words. I have never before been in a situation that was so conducive to learning lessons on Life, Love, the Universe in which we live, and of course, Magick.

I want to share as many of those lessons here as is practical, but in order to do so, I must find the right time and the right context to share them in such a way as to maximize their value. Thus, in the near future, you will see periodic flashbacks from those lessons posted. Sometimes these will come as separate blog entries, but other times they will be incorporated into other posts that address whatever events I am writing about. In that way, I continue to keep you apprised of events that are occuring (or have recently occured) in my (Un)Life, but I still get to share the incredible lessons I learned without boring the snot out of too many of you.

That being said, let me bring you up to speed with where I am right now.

After returning from that rather long and unplanned (by me, anyway) journey, I found myself at the familiar FBI headquarters that I first awoke to see Drake’s smiling face. Of course Drake was nowhere to be found, but rather a new crew of folks working on the Omega Project (that’s me, BTW) who were rather surprised to see me step out of a dark utility closet and into their (allegedly) secure facility.

You see, I was actually able to make the journey back from Merlin’s abode to this world by Shadowwalking, a form of travel that I had previously seen Papa Locks use. It turns out that my merger with part of Ma Grendel’s spirit gave me access to a world of magickal talent that I never could have possessed before, which is why Merlin and Zulu had been so desperate to make sure that it was my Spirit, not hers, that emerged in charge of the new Rusty Bones.

Once everyone recovered from shock and verified that I was indeed their beloved (and still very much feared) Omega Project returned, we set about setting me up for the next phase of operations.

I had to arrange for a new laptop computer, a new residence, and new transportation, since I had pretty much destroyed the Bonesmobile and my previous computer equipment with my experimental solution to being inhabited by Ma Grendel.

Once all of that mundane stuff was settled (and the piles of memos and forms were completed in triplicate--it is the Federal Government after all), it was time to sit down with upper management at the Bureau and hash out what exactly my role would be.

Let me just say that I now have significantly more say when I will or will not be deployed to address certain ‘issues’ and that my role as an investigator and as an agent has been clarified.

All of that took another several weeks to accomplish--you wouldn’t believe how picky those damn bureacrats can be on the spelling and punctuation of memos detailing my otherworldly travels, you would think they could give a guy a break after all of the shit I had been through...

That brings us up to the end of August, and the gathering storm called Katrina that was being predicted to hit New Orleans...I had been planning to take a break and go visit my kids and to spend some time with Ravyn and the Frau, but instead I ended up taking a call for help from a very unexpected source...but more on that later...

It is time to wrap up this entry, but I am sure there is a question gnawing at some of you...

What was the Key that I had to find within myself in order to be freed from those chains?

Love-- not that yucky, fake romantic stuff that is the source of so many sappy Hollywood movies, but the kind of Love for others that filled the hearts of such people as Mother Theresa, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr, and countless others who have throughout history sacrificed of themselves for the Greater Good. That is not an easy thing to find within yourself when you are an (Un)Dead FBI agent chained to a rock while literally battling an inner demon in another dimension...but by finding that wellspring of strength, I came to an acceptance of my being trapped there so that others would be protected from the Darkness within me. It was only then that the chains that held me melted away and I was free to go or to stay and learn from the man who designed my prison.

Luckily, I stayed and learned.