Sunday, August 21, 2005

Life Sucks, Then You Die, Then it Just Gets Worse

I got back to the Bonesmobile, locked the rental van up, and went inside.

First, I called the Frau to make sure Ravyn and Herne made it to her safely. That call was more than a little surreal. After we conferred on the health status of my two injured companions and on the sad loss of Fang, Frau asked about how I was doing.

“Uh...I think I’m alright.”

“What do you mean, you think you’re alright? What’s wrong?”

I described what happened when I stepped out into the sunlight, how I felt the strange sensations on my skin and then noticed that I was burning. I then described how I began to heal up when I stepped back into the shadow. Her reaction was a bit of a shock.

“Oh cool. Hey, can I get a sample of your new skin sometime? I would love to run a few experiments on it to see what exactly has happened to you.”

“Uh...yeah...I suppose so.” What else could I say? “Hey Frau, I’ve a got a lot more to get done tonight, so I need to get going. I’m glad Herne and Ravyn are OK, can you pass along my regards and sympathy to Fang’s family? Thanks a bunch.”

I hung up before she could ask any more questions I didn’t want to even think about answering.

Wow. I sat back for a second and tried to gather my own thoughts on the events of the last day or so. But wrapped up like I still was, I just couldn’t relax. I was actually feeling almost hot and maybe a little sweaty....that’s strange. I hadn’t had any feelings like that since I was alive...just how much was I changing?

I got up and locked the vehicle up, turned off all of the computers and communication gear in the living area and retired to my meditation chamber. There I began stripping all of the extra clothes off, but I still felt hot and sweaty, so I started shucking all of my clothes and gear into a big pile.

Before long, I was standing naked in the chamber, staring at myself in the single wall length mirror in the muted glow of a nightlight. My skin had a wet sheen to it, like it was actually sweating! Everywhere I looked on my skin, I could see just barely visible tendrils of darkness, like tiny little black worms, moving and shifting about underneath the surface layer of skin! My whole body was a squirming mass of pasty white dead flesh infested by small, fast moving worms of dark energy!

Son of a bitch! What the fuck was happening to me?

I soon began to feel random patches of itchiness, cold, heat, pain, and even the remembered touch of a lover’s skin all over my body. All of these sensations were more than I could bear!

I sat down, crossed my legs and closed my eyes. I needed some damn answers and fast!

It took more concentration that I could remember needing anytime recently, but I was able to slip out of my quickly changing body and find the nearest hidey hole to take me down into the Spirit World.

The journey seemed slower and more frustating than I remembered, even though I was trying to hurry to the clearing where I knew Yggsdrasil would be waiting...hopefully with some damn answers!

After an eternity of trekking through endless woods, I came to the place. I was actually relieved to see everything as I had last left it. The massive black tree with its gently swaying white and black leaves looked just the way I remembered it looking. At least this place hadn’t changed!

I stepped into the clearing and made my way through the tangle of roots towards the trunk. “Tree, please, I need to ask some questions. Don’t play games with me this time, dammit!”

I stopped to listen to its leaves, since its voice can be as soft as the murmurring of the leaves, I didn’t want to miss anything it might have to say.

I did hear a rustling of the leaves above me, so I looked up curious. Usually when the thing answered, the whole treetop swayed. I about jumped out of my skin when I saw the barely familiar brown face of Diego looking down at me from among the branches!

“Diego! What are you doing here?”

He waved and laughed, and went clambering up higher among the branches. I was just about to yell after him, when I saw the slim form of Herlinda come out from behind the main trunk of the tree. Her cheeks were tearstained, her shoulders wracking with sobs.

“Herlinda, what’s wrong?” I moved up next to her, hugged her in the fatherly kind of way I’ve hugged my own daughter to give comfort.

“Oh Senor Bones, this place, this Tree, it is so beautiful.” She was holding something in her hands, but it was being held too closely to her body for me to make out what it was.

“Yes, it is. But tell me, why are you crying? And how did you two get here?”

She brought one hand up to wipe away the tears from her eyes and to push her long black hair out of her face before looking up to answer me. “The Tree called to us Senor Bones, asked us to come here and be with him. I was afraid when I first saw him, but Diego had no fear. He just started climbing.” She stopped for minute, sniffled a bit, and then continued. “As soon as I touched the tree, I knew that everything would be OK. The Tree, he told me to pick a leaf from one of his branches. When I did, I turned it around and saw this picture of Mama and Papa holding each other.”

She was holding out a now crumpled leaf for me to look at.

I took the proferred leaf and looked at the likeness of two people, a middle aged man and woman who had a world weary look about them, with a deep sadness in their eyes that came through even on this outlined sketch. These were quite clearly the parents of two lost children who knew that would never see them again. I felt all choked up looking at them. Tears blurred my own eyes. I handed the leaf back to her and sat down heavily on a nearby root.

Herlinda took the leaf back with both hands, held it close to her body again as she too sat down.

She looked up at me after a minute, “The Tree, he said that we were welcome here whenever we want to come, that makes me glad. But he did say that the cave on the other side is a special place where only you, Senor Bones, were allowed to go. Even Diego has agreed to leave that place alone, especially after the Tree gave him permission to climb his branches. Diego loves to climb.”

“Yeah, so I noticed. Hey, if the Tree says you can stay here, I have no problem with that. I come here sometimes for answers to questions I can’t find any other answers to. His name is Yggsdrasil.”

“Yes, he told us.”

“OK, speaking of needing answers, I need to go visit that special place. The Tree had better not have worn himself out just yet, he’s got some ‘splaining to do!”

Herlinda nodded her understading as I got up, her eyes were fixed again on the image of her long dead parent. I could hear her nearly silent sobs as I slunk away, feeling like quite the heel.

But what could I do? I barely knew the girl. I was still coming to terms with the shit I was going through. Damn, how weird is this, thinking I should be going over to comfort one fo the Spirits who inhabited a deadly damn blade?

I set my shoulders and continued on around the trunk of the Tree, coming to the small entrance to the Cave below.

I stooped down and entered, slinking down the slick steps carefully until I was standing in the dark room that echoed with the steady drip drop of water falling from the roots above to the small pool that I had looked into before.

Finally, I had sense of aloneness with the Tree. Diego and Herlinda were just fleeting memories as I breathed deep the dank air of the cave, heavy with moisture and earthy aromas. There was a sense of decay and thriving life all at once here.

“Tree, please help me.”

I heard the familiar sighing rustle from above. I was finally able to make out what the Tree was saying as it responded to me. “Welcome back. It has been too long since your last visit.”

“I’ve been kinda busy, you know.”

“Yes. But when things are most hectic and when events drive you to distraction, it is most important to seek solace and to find answers from within.”

“Please don’t mess with my head this time, I need to get some answers and fast. Do you see what happens to me when I am gone?”

“I am the Seed of your Spirit, what happens to the Seed Father is known to the Son.”

“What is happening to my body? Why am I reacting to light now like that? Why is my skin crawling with little worms and why am I starting to feel things again? Why the Hell can’t I stay a fucking zombie? It’s so much easier that way!”

(To be continued...)