Wednesday, April 27, 2005

The Sins of the Father

I woke up from a night’s sleep for the first time in over a year. I was still lying among the roots of this strange Tree that called itself Yggdrasil, clasping the now crumpled leaf with Jennifer’s image on it. I lay there for a minute, gathering my thoughts, realized where I was and what had happened, got up to face the Tree.

The leaves and branches still moved to their own rhythm, I couldn’t discern any audible message from the sounds, so I started walking around the tree. I folded the leaf with Jennifer’s image on it and stuck it a pocket of the jeans I was wearing.

On the far side of the trunk, I noticed that the roots at the base of the trunk parted, revealing a small cave-like openning that descended beneath the bulk of the tree. Some smaller roots seemed to form a stairwell down into the depths. As I approached this curious openning, I could hear the steady drip-drop of water falling into a pool.

Remembering an image from a very popular movie of my youth, Empire Strikes Back, I stopped at the entrance and asked out loud, “What will I find down here.”

Unfortunately, there was no Yoda to spit out cryptic messages to me, or at least my Yoda wasn’t talkative at the moment, so I took a deep breath, hunched over and slowly descended into the darkness below.

The passage didn’t go that far really, as it descended in a curve that seemed to be about the same circumference as the tree trunk above me. The walls of the passageway were rough textured metal, much the same as the trunk above, but with the certain slickness that comes from being slightly wet. The stairwell openned up into a small chamber that was lit only by the soft glowing of what appeared to be a moss of some kind, which provided just enough light to see the small pool the filled the back half of the small, ten foot by ten foot chamber. The steady dripping of water from above the pool kept the surface of the pool from being totally still, as each drop brought a new round of gently expanding ripples that reflected in the dim light.

The only sounds in the place were my own breathing, the water dripping, and a constant gentle whispering sound sort of like a bellows, perhpas the Tree needed to breathe as well?

I approached the pool and took a knee. I reached down to the ground with both hands, bracing myself before bending out over the water, looking into the pool.

What I saw at that moment nearly caused me to jump back from shock, because the face that looked back out of the water was that of my son, Kenny, only he seemed older now than I remembered him being. He looked like a young man, could he be that old already? He was how old now? Shit he had to be nearly nineteen now, Jeezus. This could be his face now.

I had pulled back, but now looked back into the pool to see how he had changed. The image had changed slightly, now instead of showing him as if he looked directly up at me, I could see the back of his head. He was talking to someone else. I couldn’t hear the words that were being spoken, but the conversation looked friendly enough.

I could tell that Kenny was in the living room of the house I had left to my ex-wife with our divorce, and that he was talking to some man, but the way the image was set up, I couldn’t clearly see the face of the person talking to him. I could see that whoever it was, was in a suit of some sort.

I moved to the side, hoping against hope that the pool would shift its view for me as I did so. It didn’t. Kenny and whoever he was talking to seemed to be wrapping up their conversation. The figure leaned forward, envelope extended towards Kenny in one hand that looked vaguely familiar. Just then, the face of his visitor came visible, I called out in horror as I recognized Drake’s cruel image as he smiled bloodlessly at my son!

I saw Kenny take the envelope from Drake and open it. Inside, I could make the images of what appeared to be a plane ticket and a wad of green bills, topped by at least one hundred dollar bill. “NO! Kenny don’t take it!” I called out as I reached into the water, hoping in vain that I could disrupt the scene I was seeing.

I pulled my clasped fist from the water. As the ripples from my futile attempts break up the meeting of Drake and Kenny faded, I could see the final image of Kenny walking Drake to the front door. The two of them shook hands, Drake seemed to be smiling not just at Kenny, but through Kenny and directly at me. That bastard of all bastards!

My hand still wet from the waters of the pool, I got up and tore back up the steps until I was out into the air again.

I called out to the damnable Tree! “Yggdrasil! Was that happening now or in the future?”

Finally, I could make sense of the sounds the tree was making again, as it answered. “It matters little, for you will be unable to change what is about to happen.”

“You mean it hasn’t happened yet? But I can’t stop it from happening?”

“Indeed. You have seen the near future, whether it is a day hence or a slightly more, it matters not.”

“How can you be so sure? How can you know that I can’t stop it from happening?”

“The events that lead to what you have seen have already occurred, what you have seen is a result of the actions that you and others have already taken.”

“I have to try something. I can’t let that bastard get ahold of Kenny.”

“It is your nature to try.”

“What else am I supposed to do? Why did you show me this, if I can’t do anything to stop it?”

“It is my nature to show you. To become fully who you need to be, you must overcome your nature. You must use such information to take action that is not anticipated, you must find Wisdom.”

“He’s my son! I can’t allow him to fall into the hands of that foul creature.”

“Perhaps it is not for you to affect the choices that your children make.”

“What kind of father could I be, if I didn’t at least try to help him?”

“What kind of father have you been up to now?”

“That’s not fair!”

“I agree. You haven’t been fair to them, for many years now. You can’t make up for a lifetime of errors in one moment.”

“I was killed though! I didn’t abandon them or anything!”

“You abandoned your children and your wife many years prior to your death. You sold yourself body and soul, into servitude.”

“I did what I had to in order to provide for my family!”

“There are far more important ways to provide for a family than money. Were you there when your son needed his father for support and approval?”

“My wife was there full time! We had a deal, she would raise the kids, I would bring home the paycheck.”

“So a father’s worth is solely in the paycheck he brings home?”

“No, I didn’t say that! Enough of this shit, I’m going to go save my son!”

“I cannot stop you from trying.”

“Good! I’ll be back when I have saved him, just to prove you wrong.”

“I will be here. You have much to learn yet.”

“Fuck off Tree!”